This Pain

This pain sucks so much, I feel like I could just go into my room and stay there for the rest of my life. I don't know how to deal with it at all. There's no point distracting myself anymore because it's not working and I have so much work to do. I've been running away way to much lately and it just hit me. It's like I'm running away from the sun, no matter how hard I try, it will be there in the morning. These secondary thoughts aren't helping either and I just want to punch a wall and hopefully the physical pain will drown out the emotional pain. I wonder stupid things that I shouldn't be worrying about anymore, the what if's, those stupid doubts in my head and my heart. Fuck I hate them so much (profanity required to show just how much hate I'm talking about.)